Eid Mubarak! :D

Assalamualaikum everyone! Wow I haven't been updating lately, huh? Ah well, it's not like I have many readers anyway, heheh. Well I really don't have must to say actually. I feel like I've lost my touch in writing posts. Dah tak feeling dah :(

But anyways, Happy Eid to everyone! I have to be honest, I'm extremely sad that Ramadhan is behind us. Hopefully the positive things I learnt during Ramadhan will be continued for the rest of my life, and that all of the good deeds I did will be accepted. Ramadhan was like a charger to prepare us for the next 11 months. But then again, how do we know that we will meet the next Ramadhan again? We don't know. So I really hope it was the best Ramadhan for all of us :)

Syawal is also another beautiful month.

I believe this month is quite special, where many Muslims (and non-Muslims) come together to celebrate the month. Many things are new; new clothes, furnitures, curtains and all. Hopefully there's a new and better us too :)

Just a friendly reminder to all to hold on to your faith and principles. The devils are untied and out now, so there'll always be that whisper to trigger us to do something we shouldn't do. Remember that just because Ramadhan is over, it doesn't mean that the haram becomes halal and the sinful things suddenly becomes okay. If we didn't come out of Ramadhan as a new and improved person, then we probably just wasted a whole month of opportunities. InsyaAllah, let's pray for each other :)

Okay I really don't have much else to say xD

Please forgive me for all my wrong doings,

may Allah bless us all <3 p="p">

Can my life be like the ones in books?

Sometimes I wonder if my life would ever be like those spectacular adventures in movies and books. Like, could a random person like me be special enough to have amazing journeys, magical moments, wonderful experiences like the ones we read and watch about? Or are they just fiction; unrealistic, happens to be one-in-a-billion people, too fantasy-like to happen? Could my life, at the end of it, be written down with fascinating journeys I went through for others to read and dream about?

Travelling halfway across the world, involved in cool action stunts, meet epic people, hold really awesome guns and swords, fight in a war and survive, don't need to study to get straight A's to succeed, just happen to live in a huge mansion with everything in it, be a secret teen-agent, have awesome martial arts skills and so much more that sounds like the dream life I would want to live in.

Okay, maybe I read too many books.

But is it impossible for me to have a fascinating life? No.

To be honest, I always thought my life was a typical boring life that most people go through; go to school, study hard, get a scholarship (if smart enough), go to university, exams, graduate, get a job, have financial problems for a while, get stable, get married, have kids, grow old, die.

But then again, it will only be typical and boring if I make it that way. Surely I have the power to make that typical life extraordinary? Of course I do. We all do. Life doesn't have to be like the ones in fictitious books for it to be amazing. We are the character in our story. The hero, the chose one. We can have our own adventures too. What makes us extraordinary compared to others is what we choose to do in our life, how we choose to see things, and how we portray ourselves to the world. Plus, our life is only brilliant and epic if WE believe it is, and do whatever we can to really make it great.

Every chapter of our life tells a wonderful story, but only if we choose to write wonderful things in it. Even if some bad stuff happens in that chapter, but well, the hero always gets to solve things at the end of the day, right? Somehow, we'll figure things out so that we can move on to the next chapter. Not every story is happy and positive throughout the WHOLE book. Most have problems and challenges, which is what makes it fun to read, so that we find out the interesting ways of solving it. Many things in stories comes out with a huge surprise, which makes it even more fun to read. The difference between our life and written stories is that it's actually REAL and happening to us. We get to see it all in 4-D. Even better, we're actually IN the story. We get to decide what happens next.

Well yeah. Maybe it's not like the ones we read about. Maybe it's not at Hogwarts, or Narnia, or Alagaesia, or Panem or wherever. But it can still be a best-selling story, regardless.

I'm gonna continue to write my story :)
What's your story like? :D

Alexithymia.

I don't know if this is something normal or bad, but most of the time when I'm feeling so many things at once, I end up being really depressed and I don't even know why. That's why sometimes when I may seem troubled or frustrated, I can never really give a specific reason why. It could be because once something ruins my mood, I start thinking about these negative things in my head then more voices just keep making it complicated and eventually one small thing becomes something huge and I'm actually worrying about nothing. I overthink.

Or sometimes, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about a certain situation, and so I get a little confused about my emotions and the depression comes again. I get depressed quite easily, huh? Yeah.

Sometimes I think I'm selfish or having some negative feelings towards something, because the nice part of me tells me to not be so judgemental about it. That makes me frustrated too, because now I'm battling with what I really do feel and what I should be feeling. Hmm confusing.

Every time someone asks me 'what's wrong?', I always end up answering 'I don't know'. Because it's true, most of the time I don't know what's wrong with me, or I don't really know how to explain it all. All I know is that I feel terrible about something. I may have a general idea on what I feel bad about, but I'm even supposed to feel that way about it makes me confused. Then comes another small problem before I even get to figure things out, and the confusion grows.

It's not really healthy. Sometimes I break down because of it. I used to try to tell people about my problems and how I feel and stuff, but for some reason, no one truly understands. I'm grateful for some people who are willing to listen, but in the end I don't really end up understanding the feelings, I only feel slightly better. I guess that's a good and bad thing. The good thing is that I temporarily feel better; the bad thing is that it'll come to haunt me again.

It's hard to describe my feelings to other people because I can't even understand them myself.

I try to though. I really want to. I need to understand myself, because nobody else does.

I'll keep praying that someday, somehow, everything finally makes sense.

Ramadhan.

Finally. This beautiful feeling of being somehow 'free' is back. I miss this feeling. It magically came the moment I heard the call of Maghrib prayer yesterday. I took a deep breath of the new month of Ramadhan, and I could feel my heart crying with joy, my lungs feeling excited. I cried invisible tears of happiness, of gratitude. Alhamdulillah.

I didn't know if I was ever going to meet Ramadhan again. Last Ramadhan was my 'realization' moment. I finally realized how beautiful the month really was, how it was the perfect opportunity to do many wonderful deeds and it was a huge avenue to earn a ticket to Jannah.
Unfortunately since last Ramadhan, I think I started to forget. I started to slowly leave some of the good habits. I was a better person than the previous Ramadhan, no doubt. But it was as if I had walked a mile forward and decided to walk back a third of the way. It was only yesterday did I realize how uncool it was, and how it was a huge waste. I'm not going to let that happen again.

Allah gives us all thousands of opportunities each day to prove to Him that we do deserve to be in Jannah. He has unlimited rewards that He just WANTS to give to us, but we need to earn it first. Despite all of the sins and mistakes I made, all the good habits I left, Allah still gave me the chance to repent, by giving me another Ramadhan, or even another day to live.

The moment all the syaitan and devils got locked up again, I felt calm, safe and secure.
I want to change. I want my faith to be at it's highest this Ramadhan, the most it has ever been for as long as I've lived. I want that to stay within me and keep building and increasing even after Ramadhan. This could be my last Ramadhan, I CAN'T waste it. This is the chance for me to renew myself, to ask for forgiveness from Allah. This is the chance to earn countless of rewards and to eliminate my past sins.

I know that I won't be the only one who takes this advantage to change into a better person, a better servant. I can already see some people who seemed a little lost before see the beauty and opportunities that Allah offers and with their own intuition, they want to change too. Alhamdulillah, the beauty of Ramadhan. Truly a month full of blessings.
I hope through Ramadhan, I can strengthen my bond with my friends and family, after doing so with Allah of course :) I hope the spirit I have for this beautiful month won't only last for a few days, but for the rest of my life. InsyaAllah, let's pray for each other :)

Have a wonderful Ramadhan everyone :D

Affected

I would have never thought that I would be so concerned about this.
Shall not elaborate on what it is, but let's just say it's one of those friendship problems that don't seem to untangle themselves and it's obnoxious really, but...

It's poking at my skin and I can't get it off, and ugh.
The worst part is that I have to meet her like almost everyday of the week and with this estranged relationship I don't really know how to react anymore.

I guess I'm just like that. I'm too prideful and I refuse to lick up or salvage broken friendships because I believe one should not be too enthusiastic when met with someone who obviously doesn't like you.
I mean why bother yourself with stuff like that when even if you try; you're most probably not going to succeed anyway.

I don't know how to think of it - if it's my problem, or simply because she had no trust in me and believed what people say. I am helpless.
I need to speak to her blatantly, like face-to-face, because that's the way I work; but the face that we meet each other so frequently daunts me.
What if it doesn't work out - don't you think it'll be even more awkward?
But do I want to let this three years of friendship go to waste?
Sure we have had our groups and we're not the closest; but I've always treasured her presence and her advice and those talks we used to have in school.
Her waiting for me to finish lessons so we could eat together during recess and talk.
What is this now - that it's all gone?
If it's really a problem with me I don't know what should I do. Should I be changing myself for her? Is that even correct?

But there is simply nothing wrong in trying hard to salvage this relationship - just not at the expense of my pride and further deterioration of the situation.
This is how it works.
It is truly saddening to see how we (she) can change so drastically in such a short period of time. Has she suddenly realized that she had been wrong to accept me in the last two years and decided that I was unworthy of her friendship?

Do I ever hold a place in anyone's heart - except that everyone holds a place in my heart and I over think; even if I don't really like that person.
Their words carve themselves in my heart.
Maybe it's because when I was younger I had more haters than friends - a part of me pursues this social life where everyone likes me.
Of course it probably isn't true action-wise, but I swear a part of me yearns for that. Therefore whenever they comment about me or my attitude, it hurts and I put it to heart - and I try my best to change myself for them to like me.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm living for myself or to make people like me.
Life isn't all about popularity, right? But the higher popularity you have, the ease of doing things and things going your way is truly comparable.
Guess I've been attempting to climb that ladder ever since I was young - but now...
It's still there, only my attempts are now futile and people judge you before they even know you.

That's very nice of you guys.

Make a change.

A girl named Marsya Elina was born on the 2nd of June 1999.

She's thirteen.

She's one person out of billions.

Billions.

Out of billions, what change can a naive 13-year-old girl like her do to change the world?

What difference can she make in people's lives?

Every person born into this world matters.

How does this one girl matter to this world?

Heck, how does this one girl matter to ANY world?

It seems impossible that someone like Marsya can make a change.

How can she anyway?

It doesn't matter how. It doesn't matter whether she can or not.

What matters is that she tries, and that she's aware that she's supposed to.She grew up trying to make her dreams parallel and realistic with her abilities and the environment around her. That kinda made her limit her dreams. But what if. WHAT IF big dreams aren't actually impossible to achieve? Most magnificent things in people's live happened because they believed in themselves. Things that have been thought to be impossible have been proven otherwise. That's the change that those kinds of people have made. They made the world better, contributed to the community, changed lives and inspired people. They had determination and guts. "Quitting" never existed in their vocabulary. "Giving up" was a foreign word to them. Positive thinking and hope were their best friends. Getting back up after life pushed them to their knees was like second nature to them. The perfect example of someone who has achieved something that seemed impossible but had succeeded; the Prophet (peace be upon him). One man out of BILLIONS had changed the world. His influence lasted for many, many years, and will last till the end of time. He has taught and inspired millions, possibly even billions, dead or alive. His teachings and inspirations are what influenced many other people to continue to make the world a better place for us all. He's my teacher and my inspiration.

I CAN make a difference. It doesn't have to be huge, it just has to be a good change. How I will make that change is something I've never really told anyone. Maybe when I've succeeded, you'll realize what my super-awesome-secret-plan is. But my point today is, from now on I will believe that my dreams can and will come true, if Allah wills it. InsyaAllah, I hope Allah approves of my intentions and will give me the strength and guidance to achieve it.

That's right people. The person you least expect could make a change beyond your expectations, even if they're the least likely of people who seems to be able to.

Don't underestimate those with dreams of making a change. I have friends who believe with all their heart that they'll make a difference and change in this world. I believe with all my heart that they can and will.

Remember, 'impossible' is 'I'm' and 'possible' combined. Together, it makes "I'm possible'.

I'm possible.

What change will YOU make?

Cause I look forward to seeing you achieve it =)

Peace be upon you.

#Randompostcauseijustfeltlikeit

The ups and the downs in life.

The road to success has it's ups and downs. Like literally, when you're on the top of the bumpy road, it all seems easy to keep going. You just follow gravity. You can even run if you want to. Feel the wind, pushing you from behind. You feel so relieved, until you reach the bottom. Great, now you have to climb up the bumpy road. Defy gravity, and use all your will and energy to reach the top again. It's hard. Sometimes it's frustrating, cause you're so tired of going up and down and sometimes you just wanna sit down and rest for a while. But eventually, you'll have to keep going, or you'll die of starvation  and dehydration. At this point, having faith and being positive would be real helpful. The end of the road will lead you to a place full of unimaginable mouth-watering things you wouldn't even want to rest for, if you knew how beautiful the place really is. If we all knew, we'd probably even crawl up the road if we have to. Unfortunately, not all of us will make it there. Not with us always procrastinating in going through the steep part of the road. Not with us being distracted with things that are trying to stop us from reaching the other side. Not with us expecting to grow wings and take the easy way out. Life's not a bed of roses. You don't necessarily need to have physical strength to make it across. A strong, tough guy might just faint when they see a snake slithering on the road. Mental strength is important too. Positivity works far better than you know.

When life throws you stone or rocks or food or whatever and staying strong seems like the hardest thing ever, remember that it's a bigger chance for you to succeed. In a religious point of view, more challenges would mean more chances to get rewards, because Allah's testing our patience and how we deal with a problem, also to see if we'll go back to Him for help. So hey, doesn't that mean He loves you? He's giving you so many opportunities to prove yourself to Him, so many chances to prove that you DESERVE to be back home in Heaven.

In a general point of view, the challenges in life should be a motivation. If people are bringing you down, it's your chance to prove them that you're not just a piece of nothing in their life. Make your mark by proving them wrong, and making them wish they had never underestimated you. Even when you TRY, that's already a sign of proving them wrong.

Okay, maybe this is just a typical post that you've read everywhere all the time. But it's come to my attention that whenever some people are facing stressful and frustrating problems, they don't really know how to deal with it the proper way, till they do things that hurts them more. In example, shutting out from the world by not talking to ANYONE, self-harming by cutting themselves, eating excessively too much until they get sick, starving themselves, hurting other people with their words and stuff like that doesn't actually help them solve the problems that they're facing. I understand that sometimes, all you want to do is just escape from the pain. I know, I always feel that way deep inside. But the way we choose to escape really does matter.

So here are some suggestions, and I guarantee you WILL feel better =)

1. Take wudhu'.
2. Read Quran. Feed your soul, plus you get rewards.
3. Pray and zikir, ask for strength and patience from Allah.
4. Remember Rasullah SAW, how he misses his ummah, how he misses YOU, how he cried almost every night remembering his ummah. How you're hoping to meet him soon, insyaAllah.
5. Talk to someone you trust. There HAS to be someone. If not, then talk to meee! :D
6. Write about it in your journal, or blog or something, but keep it to yourself. This will help you have a larger view of your problems, instead of keeping it all in your head and thinking too much.
7. Listen to POSITIVE songs. There are plenty, go on and explore.
8. Sing your heart out with the positive songs. Like really, SING YOUR HEART OUT, even if you have the suckiest voice in the world.
9. Watch movies or shows that makes you laugh and smile. 
10. Hang out and chill with your friends and family. Go do something fun together.
11. Cry your heart out. It's okay to cry. It's a sign that you have feelings that are fragile. Let all of your sadness out. After your cry, go do the things above.

Then go and prove to the world that you're strong. Even after having a breakdown, you still have the will to keep going.

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.

It's not real.

"So it's you again."

This time, I can memorize the pattern, the things you do when your calling me. I don't have to turn my head or cry anymore.

"Why are you following me", I ask, and you never answer.

"What do you want with me?" again, only silence greets me.

This winter has been cold and ugly because of you. And now it's leaving, but you are not.

I am not afraid.

I think the mind can deceive the eyes, but can it lie to the heart?

Every time you come I try to look away, my mind says I can do this, I can stay.

Lies. I have told so many lies.

And no one hears it, no one but me.

You come closer...and I freeze.

"Your too big to be a dog", I try to reason, to clear my head "then what are you?"

"Whatever you want me to be."

And that's what scares me. It scares me that your everything fulfilling my every heed

Being everything I think I have to have

Until I can't think anymore

Your changing

I'm changing

"Why are you here?" I ask, aloud, barely a whisper,

I think no one can hear me.

You don't answer,

but I already know

I already know.

I open the skies

I open the skies...


I have heard time describing what I want to say with words. I'm not even good with focusing on what I want to say, expressing myself is an endless frustration; to me, words are not enough to show to the world what I feel...my thought are not formed in a sentence...I feel them. See them. And I understand them.

Adding to the problem...I lack an interest in writing...no, especially typing. I appreciate what the cyber era has given me, seriously I do. Its just that typing bored me. With the limited action and prolonged hours needed to conduct this simple yet needy action. And its such tedious work. Man could have at least invented a device where I could watch mini teli while typing. haha.

And for some weird reason, I seem to enjoy using words that makes me want to stop typing in the first place.

Oh romeo...why me? =D

Thou shan't tell me this wont be forever,

Then how shall I succeed this life without thee,

In light, there are no stars to watch,

Is this courage in the breath you gave me?

To give in or be subdue,

What does it mean to have all but one?

I am yours forever,

And let the sky alone be my witness...

Let it all but the sky be done

Written by a very peculiar girl in the morning - I know most of you can't believe it!

Haha

Enjoy my blog ;)

Flaws

Everyone has their own flaws, even if you don't see it. For some reason, people tend to bring us down because of our flaws, making us feel insecure and embarrassed for not be as 'perfect' as everyone else who doesn't share the same problem. It took me a while to realize that it shouldn't matter. Don't be ashamed of your natural flaws, for everything has its own benefits. I for one, am a very blurred person, I'm always the last one to understand a joke or sarcastic comment. Whenever I don't know what's going on, people laugh and tease me for being slower to understand. Whenever I ask them to repeat something I'm confused about, sometimes they'd refuse to tell me because I'll never understand. Maybe they don't realize it, but it hurts. I didn't ask to be born this way, to think differently compared to everyone else. Even though it's a very minor problem, but when people judge, it's a painful stab in the back.

But then, I realized that being blurred isn't completely a bad thing. If I'm blurred about useless things that don't matter, that's great! I have more important things to care about, and if people are gossiping and talking about bad things, then I know I'll be thankful I'm a little blurred. Blurred people think a little differently. They DO try to understand things that confuse them. They think in a different angle compared to everyone else, which is why they see things differently sometimes. And it's actually a good thing, it makes them have different ideas.

I'm still a little blurred sometimes, but I think I've improve a lot since Primary 6, alhamdulillah. I used to be paranoid with people calling me blurred and all, but oh well that makes me special and different from them :P And I know that they themselves have their own flaws, whether I'm aware of it or not, so I shouldn't feel like they're better than me as a whole. What truly matters in the end anyway are your intentions and actions. People's judgements hurt, yes. But don't let it get to you. Remember that nobody's perfect, and the criticism positively. Prove to them that despite your imperfections and flaws, you're still a good person with a good heart and have a lot to offer the world.

In conclusion, flaws have benefits, and nobody's perfect. Allah's creations are all beautiful, and only He can judge what He has created. In His eyes, they're not flaws at all.

Do you have a flaw? Yes? Well don't worry, everyone else does too.

What makes you wiser is how you deal with it =)

Learning different languages

Well I love learning other languages but there's too many..haha, my language is Malay but I know how to speak in Korean a little >> learning other language is also important because we will understand what they're saying and we can answer their questions properly.

Korean >
Annyeonghaseyo!!!! :D
For the first time I can speak in Korean!
With a help of my friend, dramas and songs :)

But a bit la...like:
1) ileum-i mwojyo? (What's your name?)
2) Dangsin-i yeong-eolo malhal su issseubnikka? (Can you speak in English?)
3) Chonun Marsya imnida (My name is Marsya / I'm Marsya)

Poetry of my life

We, human being lived on earth

Since our late late late x10000 great grandfather Adam

The first to be on Earth with Eve (Hawa)

The earth is a planet, the most powerful place to be

But can also be a cruel place for human who disobeyed 'Him'

The mighty of all will test all of us, he knows our capability from A-Z.

From looks to feelings to fortune to love ones

'He' can take away anything 'He' wants

We can only pray and live a life full of tests

Start building a wall to cover the pain of chest.

Since I was a kid, I've started building my own wall

It is now big and long like a track of train

Still I wonder why, even though it's big enough to stand strong

But every time it got hit, I still can feel the pain.

Feels like a thousand pin going through my heart

Stopping a clear shiny pearl from falling to the ground

Pull myself together and stay strong

Think positive is another way to help

People say what goes around, comes around.

Here's a little of my advice

Sometimes we must expect the unexpected

And accept the fact like rolling the dice

Don't depend on to the people around you

They wouldn't say long and forever

We must hang on to ourself, be nice to others

My mum always say the bad is the one that we need to forget 

The good is the one that we need to remember.

We can smile with a broken heart

But there's always a time we just have to let it out

To let you know that you still have feelings

People may not see and feel what you're dealing

That someone who can is hard to find

There are only one in a million like dime.

Every second that passed is now a history

Writing this piece of art is making me hungry

I now leave it all to you

Good luck and all the best

Thanks for the memories that you gave me my friends

I thank all of you for reading this poetry

Behind this Great Wall of China also have it's story :)

And so do I :')

Misconception

They say you can't love two person at the same time, that's absolutely rubbish because you can, the only thing one can't do is to be IN love with two person at the time, to love someone and to be in love with someone are two different things. That's something some people failed to understand.

Meow.

You know you're my best friend? I always noticed that every Friday you MUST ignore me, right? You went to the other girls. Only that one girl yang always with me. You don't even care about my life right? If you don't, then why are we even best friend? Seriously, I treat you as my best friend and all you do is treat me like shit? Do you even have feelings? Grrrr >.< I feel like I just got betrayed by the people I care, love the most! I feel like I don't want to talk to you anymore!

Journey to the pot of gold.

Life. A journey to heaven, or to hell? It can be both. Heaven is like the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow. Only the pot of gold is worth so many unimaginable things you can't even dream of because it's just too fascinating and beautiful. The objective of the journey was to get to the pot of gold that's on the other side. To get to the other side, you have to cross the rainbow. It's a hard journey, you have to go through many colours and deal with many leprechauns that's trying to stop you. During the start of your journey, you learn the rules and ways to safely reach the other side through a book that's complete with what you need to know. You even get to ask for help from the Creator of the quest. Since He can't directly help us (to test our faith in Him), He sent a Messenger (peace be upon him) to guide us in the right direction. It was easy and exciting at first. But as you travel further along the rainbow, you suddenly bump into different colours and meet different people. Some of these people may point to the right colour that you need to follow, and walk alongside you to continue your journey together, to help you when you're in trouble. But there are other people who decide to pick the more fun and exciting colour that's full of leprechauns and traps, distracting from the real path that they need to follow. The decision comes to you when you need to pick the right person to follow. You need to have a strong faith to not fall into the traps of the leprechauns and to follow the right colours to successfully get to the pot of gold. It's tiring, frustrating and sometimes you feel like giving up because suddenly the leprechauns have gathered lots of followers who might have forgotten the real purpose of them being on the rainbow in the first place. But there are no shortcuts, unless you die, truly trying to please the One who created you, who created everything that's ever creted.

But lets say you're not one of those people who gets the shortcut to the other side. Lets say your actions along the journey need to be measured first, to see if you really do deserve all of the gold. There may be some gold coins along the journey, but nothing can compare to the amount that's waiting on the other side. Then wow, wouldn't you be willing to go through every challenge with hope in your heart, and step through every thorn no matter how much it hurt? Wouldn't you follow all of the rules and instructions, no matter how tempting it was to break them? Wouldn't you follow the right person who guides someone else in the right direction to reach the end? The creator of the game, the journey, the quest, is truly fair. Allah is fair. He is the Creator. Life is the journey or the quest. Syaitan are the leprechauns. The book is the Quran. Asking for help is making Doa and prayers. The gold coins are the small pleasures in life. The colours are the different paths to heaven, whether in the right or in the wrong direction. The people are your friends. The traps are the things that make you forget about your purpose in life. What happens if you don't reach the pot of gold? You'll probably fall out of the sky, and I really don't wanna describe about the place that's waiting for you at the bottom. All I can say is that you won't have time to regret the traps that you followed, and the Creator won't be listening to your cries of help anymore. He would be happily rewarding those who followed the rules, always remembering Him and believing that every challenge that was faced was to test their faith in the Him.

So which part are you closer to? The pot of gold, or what's waiting underneath? Do you have your book of guidance close to your heart? Are you falling into one of the leprechauns' evil traps? Are you asking help from the Creator? Are you following all of the rules? Are you following the right people? Are you being fooled by the shiny fake gold coins on the rainbow, forgetting that on the other side are the real, valuable ones? Which colour are you currently on, and is it the right one? Whatever your answers are, never forget that the Creator is always fair. When you realize your mistakes and intend to change and turn back to the right direction, He'll send good people and a clearer path for you to follow. Of course, us humans tend to forget things sometimes. But don't let that be an excuse for us not to remember again. Don't take advantage of the people there to help you, because they may be your one and only hope of surviving the journey. The moment you realize a trap from Syaitan, remember Allah and your purpose in life, then decide if the trap is worth risking everything you've worked hard for. Follow the lessons and teachings from the Messenger (pbuh), for he has been guaranteed the highest place in Heaven. It's not impossible for us to go there too.

Be strong, even though you don't know how far along the rainbow you've travelled, but know that with the right intentions and enough good deeds, you're closer. Maybe even closer than you think.

So everyone, good luck on your journey.

May He guide us all.

P.s. You may need a high level of imagination to understand this post, so forgive me if you think I'm crazy person talking about rainbows and leprechauns =)

A smile :)

The meaning of a smile is when a one featured is pleased, kind or an amused expression. Smiling with or without a reason doesn't matter, as long as you smile to show other people that you know that you'll make the right decisions with confidence. A smile can bring lots of memories, great memories of family, friends and sometimes even enemies. A smile can bring less worrying to someone that means a lot to you, don't let them worry about you. Smiling will help you heal from those ugly wounds that you've been through, a smile can bring such happiness to someone, anyone. A smile would make your family and friends happy, maybe a stranger too, well no one knows. Life is full of adventures to be sad and remembering what you've been through. If you want to say if it is a "fake smile" then keep it to yourself and don't let people worry about you. Don't tell them because it will make you look pathetic and people will think that you can never move on if you keep saying "fake smile" what-so-ever. Don't waste your "fake smile" then, smile from the bottom of your heart, with or without reason, doesn't matter but what I know it'll show the people who put you through the bad times, that no matter what they do you'll keep smiling and they will suck on it when they see you smile. Don't think about the past, think about the future.

Best friends ♥

They were there when I need them, they were the one who helped me through good and bad times, they were the one who gave me the support I needed, they are one of the reason why I'm smiling today. When they are happy I'll try to put my biggest smile :) I love them, in smartness we're the same. I will never take them for granted after that we've been through. Our friendship will never be forgotten, but will and forever be cherish. I love them like my own sisters, I appreciate them so much.  No one can replace them no matter what happens, they are one in a million and they are the finest girls that I ever seen in my life. They bring joy to the world, and I will never let anyone hurt them. Because of them, I learned how to smile, how to trust people, how to fight, pick the right decision and other incredible things. If they are reading this I would like to say thank you for everything! I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings or anything, I'm deeply sorry. Even if we are miles apart but friendship will always be in my heart ♥ I love you guys :) ♥ All of you! :)

Little things about my dream :)

Let's imagine I'm currently in a beautiful city called, Jeju Island. Walking through the beach while eating some delicious ice cream. Yes, I'm still wishing for having a great holiday in Jeju Island but I guess I just need to forget about it. My close friends knows how much I'd love to go there. And my family were planning on being in Jeju Island like so many times but we failed.

So as you can see, these holidays are same like any other days for me. Watching the same movies and repeating the same routine all over again might turns me into a sick zombie. I think I should do something productive. I suggest myself to read some good books. Oh how about my novels? Yes that would be great. I don't know why but it's hard for me to finish a book. Boo to myself.

The clock, the door, and the box of memories. To be frank, life has been treating me rather well. I guess I have chosen the right door. But there is just one thing that always make me worn out, the clock. Twenty four hours a day is assuredly not enough for me to forget everything about you!

My sleeping pattern is all messed up and I ended up woke up with distressing feeling. Memories from the past keeps haunting me. This morning, I woke up remembering things that I just need to forget. Constant memories of mine keeps rolling in my head and it drives me crazy each and every time. I feel like I have been trapped in a box of memories. My hand and legs are locked up and my body is in fetal position. How to get out from this box? Someone, please help me.

It's quite hard for me to move on.

It's quite hard to deal with people nowadays. My head feels like it's going to explode. Seriously, it feels like my parents is pushing against me. I thought these holidays might bring me some relief but otherwise it makes myself literally sick. However, I just need to move on but it's quite hard. I'm proud of myself for still being strong to face all of these things.

Hard. Hard. And very very hard.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment, but still I can put a smile on my face. All I can say is you guys mean so much to me. You have had such a huge effect on my life and you've made me smile so all I can say is thanks you very very very much!

Happiness

Don't worry, I'm still alive. I have embarked on a new journey. Each step I take brings me more closer to the door of happiness. I've never felt this way before. My mind is like an open meadow. Seriously, I have nothing to worry about at this time. It feels like a free bird in the sky.

Piece of mind :)

Dunia dah maju, zaman dah berubah.

Is it? Or something like that. Whatever la. But I sadly admit its true. And what I'm gonna write about it the fact when teenagers come in :)

Is it pathetic sometimes when teenagers follow other teenagers? And for what? A name. Pride? Glory? More like sorrow and sorries. Everyone is trying to get a name instead of being proud of their own. Market sini la, bajet sana la. Come on, seriously. Who are you fooling?

Some girls see the types of poses I do, and imitate EXACTLY what I tend to do. Some are caught in the moment. Others, I get them later. Its funny. You can even zoom and see the resemblance -.-" what is so special being like everyone else? Putting up pictures of half naked body and writing cencored. WTF?! Why don't just post on the cover of playboy? More money, more fame.

Some boys get as many girl as they want and show off to their friends -.-" wtf? ahah. Girls aren't something you freaking compare to one another. We're motherfucking human beings -.- not trophies. Btw, I'm sorry I'm not yours. Some guys take pictures of girl's boobs and butts and put it on their MySpace. Are you crazy? I dare you to put your mum's boobs and butts. Will you do it? IDTS! hahaha

So, for those who terasa lebih, I'm sorry. I don't mean no harm. I get where you're coming from. But it's time to fucking BACK-OFF! Good? Understand? Great. Imma out here! BYE!

Dear single life

You have drained me completely with never ending questions running about in my head.

You have lived up to my expectations and deceived me for the best.

You were so surreptitious, you crept up behind me and slit my throat.

I needed you but in the end, like everything else, you were undecipherable.

I try to scream as I choke back tears but nothing flows out except white lies.

Try me, heart. Lock, choke me down. Size me up, make it rough.

I'll try more strength to go on and you'll fade in time. Love is hope. And I have hope.

Always had, always will.

Sit Sat Saturday

Look at that, its a Saturday and I'm stuck here doing nothing. There's nothing nice on the television so why bother watching. My friends are on their vacation and no one's online, god. This is insane. I'm currently reading a book, its called 'All-American Girl'. So far its nice. It started off with her sister make her in trouble which is sort of cool. I'm that bored so I decided to read a book. Which lessen my boredom. Great, my headphone isn't working. I tried listening to something on YouTube but I can feel the whole room vibrating which crept me out, so I decided to stop listening to music. Why isn't anyone online, gahhh. Usually, there's at least someone to talk to. What to do what to do. Hmm, I don't want to eat since I've eaten and I've eaten quite a lot for now. My tummy's bloated now *plays with tummy*. Weeeee. I would love to be going out shopping or maybe just walk around. But no one's free I suppose. Its a Saturday. Gahhh, well I suppose I'll keep on bragging and talking.

Misters and Misses ;

One of the things I enjoy most of life is mistakes.

The loads of trouble you get in.

And it only took one second to make that decision.

You see, life has a way of specially caressing you into its surreptitious arms and when you feet comfortable, it crushed you and you turn into nothing but dust.

Love, life, death.

Three simple steps to the next life.

I heard a quote saying

"Where are we, where we live, what we do.

It isn't home.

We are on a bus going home."

So why are we so afraid to live life and die?

Another quote I heard was something like,

"Death, it's peaceful easy,

much easier than living."

Don't you feel better already?

I don't know about all of you, but I'm sure as hell I'm ready to go home.

Don't get me wrong, I love my "temporary" life.

I am very happy.

But there is a "home sweet home".

Far away

One day, 

I'll pull myself out of this mess and leave.

One day,

I'll clean up out of this mess I've created unconsciously.

One day,

I'll make something of this crap I call a life.

One day,

I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep.

One day,

We'll run away and never look back.

One day,

We can tell our children the things we had to go through.

One day,

I'll punch you in the face and you didn't even seen it coming.

One day,

My tears would mean so much to you.

One day,

You'll snap out and make an effing decision for once.

One day,

You will leave me alone because you've finally accepted the fact I'm better than you.

One day,

I wouldn't have to worry about you anymore because god will kill you and stop me from having to do it.

One day,

People who see what you are and realize what I am.

One day,

I will go through a day without trying to die.

One day,

I wouldn't have to make amends with myself every night.

One day,

You'll all believe me and what I say.

One day,

I'll be someone and have many things. But I won't do it here nor near here.

I'll make something of myself far away. Far far away from here.

And that one day,

You'd wish you haven't left me in the first place.

Anticipation

I have been working, dear readers.

But I am back.

Anticipation is well hated by many but on to your pants.

A little while more and I'll update something later.

For now my thoughts are oozing out.

No, I do not think I'm better than you although you show very well that I am.

No, I did not start the fight because everyone can see you did.

No, I do not want to fight because you are useless waste of space and it'll be a sin to waste time on you.

No, I don't want to be your friend because you deserve hell not heaven.

But.

Yes, I want this to end because it's so embarrassing.

Yes, I do think you are stupid, immature and shallow minded.

Yes, I would LOVE it if you keep your big fat nose out of things you don't understand.

Yes, I would very much appreciate it if you just leave me alone.

Don't forget who I am and what I can do.

Don't forget I was your friend therefore I know so many secrets of yours.

If only I was as disgusting and as moronic and I had no morals like you, your secrets wouldn't be secrets anymore.

Watch your back, cause I'm still waiting for redemption.

Run this town

New school, new friends, new life.

It feels much better than before.

Like it used to feel fake everyday, feel scary everyday and I felt shitty everyday.

Things have changed for me.

I miss you guys :'(

Everything is so different.

None of us talk to each other anymore.

It's almost impossible to talk to you guys.

I miss us.

Is it a sin to miss a person so friggin much?

Yeah, I kinda miss you. HAHAHAHA, just guess whether it's a girl or a boy cause it can be anyone of those. You know this lifeless bitch you ignore, yeah. SHE MISSES YOU, LIKE BELLA ALMOST DIE MISSING EDWARD. #okay, that's make it obvious it's a boy --' It's kinda hurting you know that you're in my important people list and I'm living with that while you live your life like I never even exist. It is so pathetic. Maybe its my fault to accused you are not one of my importants but that's just the worst mistake I have ever done. *sigh* I miss you okay dushbag. I freaking miss you. Okay, I'm speechless. I'm always speechless --' Asal la dalam banyak banyak orang dalam hidup aku, kau yang paling aku susah nak lupakan? :/ Kau buat aku macam separuh mati kau tau. Maybe you'll laugh at this but you know ... its not a isn to write things what I feel about you right? You've changed like a lot you know. The old you, damn. I miss it like damn friggin much. Its like you're turning into something that I'll hate but sadly, I won't hate an odd person that gives out odd aura that makes me won't forget you. Strange huh?! I know. Eh you, yeah you. I miss you. Your old you okay. Looks like it's you and me huh, Bubble? ;) Lol, merepek.

"Ya Allah, maafkanlah hamba-Mu yang hina ini sebab merindui seseorang melebihi aku merindui KAU. Tetapi fitrah dan perasaan yang KAU pinjamkan ini memang untuk dirasaikan? Maafkanlah aku kerana merindui dia. Sesungguhnya aku berdosa sangat. Tapi, jika bagus, kau teruskanlah perasaan ini. Amin."

ImissyouMrSimple♥

I lost, you win.

Its hard when it comes to emotions. I mean like, how do you know when you like someone? How happy you are when your mum gonna get you an iPhone? How angry you felt when your bestfriend just backstabbed you? How silly you look like when you just fell in the school cafeteria? How frustrated you weighted after you've become the President of the Theatre Club? How scared you were when you know the teacher's gonna scold you cause you didn't finish the homework? How can you manage all that? Does this always happen? Emotions just come then you experienced it right away. And now, I think I like someone. That is my first since 1999. NOT. I never liked someone like this before, I swear, I just liked you know like someone not like-Ike someone for real. Its hard to juggled with this new emotion. It felt sweet but bitter at the same time. How do you explain it? For me, its not normal because it is my first. Yes, I like him and no I'm not in love. Emotion emotion emotion ~ I'm getting dramatical :p

Get it?

I wonder
I linger
I star
I close my eyes
I breath

I do this every time I feel so confuse with myself
And I end up feeling so messed up *which someone clearly said if you stick that in your mind that some how it will remain in your mind :(

I'm going through something for sure that I couldn't really understand myself.

All I want to be:
- a better person
- a better muslim
- a better daughter
- a better friend
- a better lover

It's not impossible but it takes time and a lot of effort, support and just myself figuring and discovering things out. I'm the type of person who takes things seriously *yes I do.
Sometimes too seriously that brought me nowhere.

She put a smile on me

A day could be filled with so many feelings. A picture could mean thousand words. A smile can produce thousand lies.

And people wouldn't know until we tell them the truth.

Of course I've put a fake smile before. And of course, people say we should be happy and blah blah blah. I want my old smile back where it remind me of so many memories and happiness I had. I'm done with everything. Now I need the happiness. Back to the old me, back to the princess world we called 'happily ever after'. Fairytale always end with a happy ending. The truth is, life ain't a fairytale. We only hoped for it to be.

Hopes and dreams.

Yes, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere but I found my way out. Now I'm lost in the world of happiness.

Sometimes, I wonder why do we still live when we're not actually happy with what we're doing, living everything?  I still haven't figure out the answer yet.

Remember to smile. It's the best make-up a girl ever wears. Be beautiful with only a smile.

x

Change

Last year, a friend told me that she had been saying this to some people. After I heard what she thought about me, I had this tingling sensation, I felt uncomfortable. She didn't know that I knew, so I just pretended that nothing happened and I continued to treat her the way that we used to be, but secretly, I've been trying to change, to be better, to try to let her see that I wasn't like what she thought I was, trying to make that thought disappear day by day. Slowly, I thought it did work.

Until, recently she asked me something and my heart sank, deeply. We've been friends for a year, but she still doesn't know what's in my mind, she doesn't know what I'm thinking, she just doesn't understand me well enough, maybe because I don't really like to express my deep feelings to anyone, so I just let it be, I didn't stop this misunderstanding. I didn't even feel like explaining what was I thinking or what was I up to, I only heard my mind saying, "I tried...really hard." I'm just sad because I thought she's my best friend.

Inspired

When I saw this, suddenly all of my problems just went away for a moment. I literally couldn't remember what was the reason that made me into me nowadays. Then after a while, it came back, but this time, something came along with it - the reason to stay strong, the reason to live my life once again, at least for now.

Shot me out of the skyyy.

God, why I can't stop loving him? :{

Dear heart,

I feel like crap now~He likes someone else. :{ That girl is so lucky. I wish I can be her. Pssh, of course she's prettier. DUH.

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Here's the story: Today's trip was so boring. Jyeah, I really do have fun in the bus, but not at the places. It's such a boring place :(

• Yakult Factory: The tour guard, he speaks so slow and I can't even understand a single word that comes out of his mouth. It was such a boring place. But at least we got one free Yakult bottle :D I love Yakult (y)
• Ostrich Farm: The place smells like poop. But of course la it smells like poops cause the ostrich just poop wherever they want. Seriously, when I go in that place, I suddenly caught a headache and I feel like vomitting.

For the first time, I didn't buy any souvenirs from the palces :D I don't want to waste my money for an unnecessary things XP I'm a good girl, aite? 

Stick with friends who saw you, when

nobody else did. Stick with friends who

you can call assholes, and know it's a

code word for I love you. Stick with

friends who look at your mistakes, and

think it's fucking awesome. Stick with

friends who don't give a fuck when you're

crying, because they know you're

stronger than that. Stick with friends who

were true to you from the very start.

When you love, you get hurt.

When you get hurt, you hate.

When you hate, you try to forget.

When you try to forget, you start missing.

And when you start missing...

you'll eventually fall inlove again.

For all the broken hearted girls.

Forget him. I know it's not that easy but you have to. He let you go, It's not your loss, it's his loss. So, Knock off the sadness, sobbing and tears.

Remember, no guy is worth crying over. Stop listening to sad songs and listen to upbeat songs then sing them in the shower. Have a girls night out. Watch movies and do makeovers, that should get him out of your mind. Do not mention him the whole night, that could bring you to tears and and ruin your night.

And One Day, your prince charming will come. Don't waste your time searching, love will find you :)

(Look at the red letters, there's a message)

I wonder

I wonder...

I wonder what is inside people's mind when they look at me.

I wonder how people view me when they look at me.

I wonder what people are thinking inside their mind.

I wonder if that smile on someone's face is real or fake.

I wonder if that frown on someone's face comes from what reason.

I wonder how those great people out there became great.

I wonder what or who will I become in my years ahead.

I wonder how Allah created so many people who not one are perfectly the same.

I wonder why I'm wondering about all these things.

I wonder...

I miss you guys :'(

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt,

pictures will never replace having been there,

memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.

I didn't see my friends for only 11 hours, but I miss them already. How could I go on with the other days without them? Seriously, I miss everyone. How are they? I miss laughing with them, hanging around with them, gossiping with them, walk around the whole school with them, doing stupid things with them, shout my lungs out with them. Oh god, I miss them so much it hurts. How I wish I could stop the time. FRIENDS, I miss you guys so much. I am not kidding. Seriously, I never thought that I had miss you guys this much! You guys meant the whole world to me, that's why I miss you guys lots. I wish we could be friends until the last of my heartbeat. I will never forget you guys :')

Friendship Remain And Never Can End ♥

Happy Birthday, Omma.

Today is 23rd of February and guess what?! It's my omma's birthday. Ceicukahambida :)

Ma, I'm sorry for everything. Thank you for all the advice. You are the best, You are the music in me. Thank you for being there for me and thanks a lot for giving birth to me. Without you and your love, I'm nothing,.

My omma,

You are my 'super mum' in the whole world and I'm your 'tiny hero' who always break the rules. 

But never across the 'wild' borders.

You always protect me with your 'magic touch' and 'mighty hands'.

You never let me down even if I'm so close to be 'terminated' from the universe.

Saadah binti Ali, my dearest omma I love you today, tomorrow and till the end.

Happy birthday, Omma :) 

Having a guy for a best friend

I wish I had that. I wish I can express everything to with a guy that would listen and know that he will not tell anyone else. He would help me with everything and make me feel happy that I have him in my life. But yet, we're not dating (duhhh). I wish I had that. That feeling when you have a guy best friend in your life.

Semua orang tak sempurna. Semua orang buat salah. Fine, aku mengalah. I'm sorry if all this while I've been acting like a bitch, I've been saying nasty words. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. Kau nak maafkan ke tak, it's your choice but I've done my part. So, bye.

Keep calm and enjoy your life.

So, I'm a little bit curious right now. What's the big deal of being HOT? Like seriously? I mean, just be yourself. Don't have to be someone else. You're pretty in your own way. Fine. I do feel jealous with those beautiful girls out there, but then again, God makes no mistakes. Everyone is beautiful, and you're not excluded. You're young only once. So, sit there, keep calm, and enjoy your life while it last.

It's complicated, somehow. I do not know which to choose. Well, I'm leaving it to Allah because He knows better. I do not know what's going to happen in the future so I'm not going to expect much. Ya Allah, help me. I seriously need your help.

Enough is enough

Fine. Put all the blame on me. I do not give a damn. But what I'm doing is right. Do I have to keep lying to myself? I'm torturing myself if I keep lying. You people wouldn't understand. Never. So, just lay off. Don't judge. I know what I am doing. I have my own reasons why I'm doing this. I'm sorry for being such a bitch.

Night people xx

I'm so sorry, I'm so confused.

Hi guys!!! I haven't tweet for so long. Haha, actually I tweet something just now XD Well, I have no time actually. Busy with curriculum and house practice and a lot of things :( Sapura Smart School is okay so far :) I actually have something to tell you but ergh I have too short memories!! Okay, next paragraph!

I got a lot of homework(s). I am totally not closing my eyes and enjoying the roller coaster that is life :( My Sejarah & ICT teacher, Mr. Param,  is "stress" teaching us. My BI teacher, Ms. Joanne, is fun. My Maths teacher, Mr. Yoga, is nice. My Science teacher, Puan Azreen, is strict and never smile or laugh while teacher us, always emo. My Agama teacher, Ustazah Farrhana, is nice. My BM teacher, Mr. Pau, is so fun to hang out with! MY KEMAHIRAN HIDUP TEACHER, PUAN HAMISAH, & MY GEO TEACHER, MR. ROZAINI,  ARE OH GOD SO STRICT. and the others are nice :)

There are a few new students in the school (every year ade, duhh =.=) and they are so friendly :) Ahaks. I made friends with some of them, especially the girls. Some of them are talented! Like talented in drawings and more. I'm so jealous of them. 

Owh yeah. There's this one Korean girl, name Jiyeon :) SHE'S KOREAN, OMG!! I can learn Korean from her so easily and free of charge :) We speak Korean a little bit at school when recess time. She's so cute and pretty. And when she make her weird expressions, she look so cute. Want to see her? I'll take a picture of her one day and I'll post it in here, okay? I'm sure you like her one :)

My crush, (you won't know him, only my best friends), are being so sombong these days. Dulu, he rajin tweet with me, but now :( . I think he's stress with all his fights with his friends yang mencari masalah besar. Haish =.= Poor him. Btw, me and him are in the same club. CULTURAL CLUB! What are we going to do in Cultural Club? Dancing :D I love dancing :) I mean traditional dance la, of course. Not that gedik dancing like Waka-Waka, I've dance that once :) I have a lot of friends. Yeah, I love all of them :) Kekekeke. Even the boys, but I love the boys as a bro to me la, of course. Don't get me wrong.

Btw, we just had our Sports' Day and the Yellow house won. The Green house is second #FOREVERGREEN! The Blue hose is third and the last are red house. Kesian red house. Haha. Tidak mengapa cause next year still ade what :)

That's all. The story of my life at Sapura Smart School. Totally enjoying the roller coaster that is life while closing my eyes. That's all for today, I think. 

I hate you...

I didn't really mean that
When I'm saying that I hate you
I wish you could understand
The reason I did this

If only you know
How much I love you
You wouldn't say that I'm cruel
Because you know the price I pay for leaving you

If only I can fly
I'll grab you and fly away
I have to leave you behind
So that I know
That only myself will get hurt.

Keperluan untuk menjadi seorang yang berjaya!

Jika kita membenci sesuatu atau seseorang, satu-satunya orang yang akan menjadi rugi kerana kebencian itu adalah diri kita sendiri. Hadiah yang paling berharga yang dapat kita berikan kepada diri sendiri saat ini adalah pengampunan. Dengan memaafkan setiap orang yang telah merugikan kita, boleh membebaskan begitu banyak tenaga dan membuat kita kagum dengan diri sendiri.

Memaafkan diri kita dengan segala kesalahan yang pernah kita lakukan terhadap diri sneidir dan kepala orang lain. Biarkan lah semua kesalahan yang tersimpan dalam diri terbang ke udara. Jangan menyesali segala sesuatu yang telah terjadi pada masa lalu. Kita harus mulai dengan perasaan yang segar, dan sebelum kita dapat melakukan itu, kita harus memaafkan diri kita sendiri.

Sorry.

She is so beautiful.

Hello guys. Sorry I haven't update my blog for such a long time. I'm not busy (well, kinda busy), I'm so lazy. So far, my life's good. Just a few emotional breakdown and stuff. So how you guys doing? :) My school is awesome! I love secondary better than the primary :P no offence to the primary out there :) EVEN THOUGH WE'RE THE NEW STUDENTS (for secondary) IN ZE SECONDARY BLOCK, WE ALWAYS KENE MARAH WITH THIS THREE TEACHERS NAME, MR. ROZAINI, PUAN HAMISAH & PUAN AZREEN. BULLSHIT. I'm so pissed man. When we forgot to take our books, mula la berceramah di depan satu kelas. Haish =.= Haha, lol jkjk. But seriously, I'm serious. They never smile or laugh. Very emo person. I'm really pissed off. I want the primary teachers back. Hurkzhurkzhurkz. Hahaha, bitch laugh.

So, I haven't told you my love for One Direction. Ohh, wait, I have. But, nvm, I tell you guys again :P They are so amazing. I used to DISLIKE them, but now no. When I say I disliked them around...August, I belum lagi dengar lagu dorang and I haven't see their pictures or I don't know anything about them. So, I main cakap ah yang I don't like them and stuff. After I dengar lagu dorang after UPSR, I'm totally in love with them (but they can't kalahkan the K-Popzzz cause K-Pop are the best!)! So I take back what I said before, they're so talented! Their song What Makes You Beautiful is eargasm. One Thing too! I want to buy their album!!!

From left: Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlison, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik

Benci?

Hi guys, as you can see my title post, yes, benci. I don't really really get it why people keep on hating on someone. Maybe someone tu buat kesalahan and then you don't like them, then you hate them. Even though he/she already say "sorry" but you still hate him. Say whutt? What benefit do you get to hate him/her? Apa yang you dapat dengan memaki hukum dia? Dosa je you dapat. Dia relax, tak buat apa-apa, pahala free masuk dalam buku amalan dia. If you want to hate him, benci la. Tapi tak payah la nak maki-maki dia cakap dia tu la, hati busuk la. Hello? Cermin diri sendiri sikit tu eh? X de cermin? Cermin kecik sgt? Meh saya belikan ye? Sekarang ni, dia hati busuk ke awak? AWAK! Awak yang hati busuk sebab awak kutuk-kutuk dia. Ingat kau siapa ah? Kau punye negara ke ni? Suka maki-maki la, kutuk-kutuk org! Awak yang hati busuk sebab membenci orang. Just sebab kesalahan lama dia yang awak menyampah. Seriously la weh, die dh mintak maaf banyak kali, dh x nk fight lagi, korang besar-besar kan lagi. Apa masalah korang sebenarnya? Nak aku lempang muka kau?

Aku bukan benci kau! Tapi aku dislike kau. Kau punye perangai terhadap orang, MasyaAllah!! Seriously, just accept him la. Dh perangai dia mcm tu. Allah dh buat perangai dia mcm tu, accept je la. Bukan dia yang besarkan masalah tu, kau yang besarkan! Bodoh, sial!!

Kalau siapa terasa tu, terasa la ye? I'm being serious! K, bye!

Life-less

Life can be complicated, hard, and confusing. But it is ultimately very beautiful. Life changes, and as it changes, we change with it. We may complain about how "life sucks", or praise how amazing life is to bless us with what we have at the moment, but in the end, no matter how we feel towards it, we are living in it. We live in it now despite thinking about the future, the past, or the present. And how could us say everything in our life are going wrong instead that Allah plans everything right?

We face what is thrown at us. The stress from work and school. The loss of friends and family members. The broken trusts and relationships between people you were once close with. Our past failures and mistakes. We reflect on those times. But we move forward. We get past the stress, we gain new friends, we build stronger relationships with family members and people we wouldn't have expected to get close with. We learn from our mistakes and failures and grow.

We find more reasons to get up in the morning, more reasons to smile and laugh so hard that we cry. We keep moving; we keep living. We create new experiences. We may wish we hadn't done some things, but later we feel glad we did as we learn from our past actions. We find love, we lose love, but only to discover we've been loved the entire time. We often love life, then hate it, then love it again. But no matter what it is, we're living in it, living in life. And with all these inevitable changes leading to different experiences, different emotions, different settings, different people, etc..I don't know, I just find it all very beautiful.

I always been thinking for this lately. I don't know how to express my feeling right now, I don't know how to start. Sometimes, I feel it wrong for me sharing something bad of people in my blog. I mean, even though I don't use names, but everyone who's close to me can understand the clues in every single word I wrote. And maybe, that person who read my blog will 'terasa' with my post because they'll know that I am talking about them. And people around me will have a bad thought to others that maybe the one that I try to say of but actually they aren't. How mean isn't it? I don't know how many times I've hurt people but sorry can't fix their broken heart.

I'm tired to feel like this anymore. I am done now.