Change

Last year, a friend told me that she had been saying this to some people. After I heard what she thought about me, I had this tingling sensation, I felt uncomfortable. She didn't know that I knew, so I just pretended that nothing happened and I continued to treat her the way that we used to be, but secretly, I've been trying to change, to be better, to try to let her see that I wasn't like what she thought I was, trying to make that thought disappear day by day. Slowly, I thought it did work.

Until, recently she asked me something and my heart sank, deeply. We've been friends for a year, but she still doesn't know what's in my mind, she doesn't know what I'm thinking, she just doesn't understand me well enough, maybe because I don't really like to express my deep feelings to anyone, so I just let it be, I didn't stop this misunderstanding. I didn't even feel like explaining what was I thinking or what was I up to, I only heard my mind saying, "I tried...really hard." I'm just sad because I thought she's my best friend.